Redirect angry feelings to their correct target

Awareness about what’s really upsetting you can help you redirect angry comments about disease away from the person with dementia. It won’t help the situation or the person with dementia or the care partner when:

  • A wife gets disgusted by her husband’s inability to remember what card to play
  • A man gets angry at his partner’s inability to resolve an insurance issue when that was always something he handled for the couple
  • An adult child gets angry that their mother threw away family photos

Grieving the losses you witness in someone you care about is one issue. Grieving your own personal losses and losses in your relationship is another. Practical responsibilities your partner handled now fall to you like figuring out insurance, or finances, making all the appointments or buying gifts for the grandchildren. Future dreams and plans are put on hold or disappear. Your sadness may come out as meanness or anger.